In calling it a fetish, devoteeism gets criticized for fixating on the disability and not seeing the human being. This is a grave misunderstanding. In fact, my experience has led me to believe that devotees are better able to see the person behind the disability. Because the disability is not frightening or strange to us, but is as appealing as a woman’s chest might be to a straight man, it doesn’t act as a barrier dividing us from them.
A few creepy people give us all a bad reputation. There are devotees who stalk people, who take pictures without the subject knowing. However, that is very rare. All the devotees I know, both male and female, are filled with guilt and shame because of their preferences. They worry that maybe they are benefitting from someone else’s pain.